Grief affects everyone differently, but many people may find that they experience a mixture of:
- Shock and disbelief
- Despair, depression and intense sadness
- Fear, anxiety and worry about how life will be now
- Relief (particularly after a long illness)
Our reactions to the loss of a loved one particularly in the first few days and weeks following the loss are likely to be overwhelming and intense, but usually over time these feelings become less intense and less overwhelming, allowing us to begin thinking about our own lives again.
Recovering from grief
Sometimes, as we start to gradually recover from our grief, we can begin to feel guilty about feeling better; it can make us feel that we are forgetting about our loved one or that we shouldn’t be happy or moving on. These are common feelings in the process of bereavement and it’s important that we do not feel guilty, allowing ourselves to enjoy things in our lives again.
As grieving is such a unique and individual experience, it’s not possible to say when it should ‘end’. Sometimes it may feel like your emotions are going round in circles, feeling ‘ok’ one day, then sad and angry the next.
Getting More Help
If you are finding day-to-day activities are becoming more difficult to cope with, or if you or your family feel that extra support is needed to help you move on, talking to family and friends about your worries can help you feel more supported. You might want to talk to someone outside the family like a GP, teacher or mentor at school, or even a friend’s parent. Choose someone you trust and if you find it difficult to talk about how you are feeling, you could write them a letter or send them a text. Support is also available through Childline, Compass Phoenix and Recovery College Online.
Getting Urgent Help
If you’ve seriously injured yourself or taken an overdose call 999 or get immediate medical advice from NHS 111.
If you are in a crisis and feel like you can’t cope, speak to somebody straight away. Search below for help or see the Urgent Help page for contact details for the North Yorkshire single point of access Crisis Service.
Things you might find useful
When someone significant in a child’s life dies, we find ourselves wanting to help but often don’t know how. This elearning module is to help you bridge that gap and help you to help a child.Loss and Bereavement elearning
This toolkit offers a range of support, guidance and information for those affected or bereaved by suicide and was co-produced with children and young people with lived experience.
View the toolkit